Skip to content
gamblingcity.net
  • Home
  • Casino Reviews
    • Jackpot.com
    • Bizzo Casino
    • Punt Casino
    • Planet 7 Casino
    • Justbit Casino
    • Kryptosino
    • El Royale Casino
    • Red Dog Casino
    • Café Casino
    • Bovada Casino
  • Casino Games
    • Online Roulette
    • Online Blackjack
    • Online Slots
    • Online Video Poker
    • Online Craps
    • Online Baccarat
    • Online Keno
    • Online Pai Gow Poker
    • Live Dealer Games
  • Casino Guides
    • Best Bitcoin Casinos
    • Best Litecoin Casinos
    • Best Ethereum Casinos
    • Best Interac Casinos
    • What is Inclave?
    • Best CS:GO Gambling Sites
    • Guide to Casino Bonuses
    • Guide to the Newest Online Casinos
    • Guide to Slots Tournaments
    • USA Casino Guide
    • Mobile Gambling Guide
    • Payment Methods
  • Gambling in US
    • Best Payout Casinos
    • Best US Dollar Casino
    • West Virginia
    • Pennsylvania
    • New Jersey
    • Michigan
    • Delaware
    • Nevada
    • Indiana
    • Illinois
    • Colorado
  • Gambling in UK
    • Boku Casinos
    • PayPal Casinos
    • Bingo Sites in UK
    • Legal Casinos in UK
    • Local UK Casinos
    • New Online Casinos
    • UK Casino Bonuses
      • No Deposit Bonus
      • By Best Payouts
      • Free Spins
      • Free Casino Cash
      • High Roller Bonuses
  • EnglishEnglish
    • EnglishEnglish
    • NederlandsNederlands
    • DeutschDeutsch
    • FrançaisFrançais
    • EspañolEspañol
    • ItalianoItaliano
Menu
  • Home
  • Casino Reviews
    • Jackpot.com
    • Bizzo Casino
    • Punt Casino
    • Planet 7 Casino
    • Justbit Casino
    • Kryptosino
    • El Royale Casino
    • Red Dog Casino
    • Café Casino
    • Bovada Casino
  • Casino Games
    • Online Roulette
    • Online Blackjack
    • Online Slots
    • Online Video Poker
    • Online Craps
    • Online Baccarat
    • Online Keno
    • Online Pai Gow Poker
    • Live Dealer Games
  • Casino Guides
    • Best Bitcoin Casinos
    • Best Litecoin Casinos
    • Best Ethereum Casinos
    • Best Interac Casinos
    • What is Inclave?
    • Best CS:GO Gambling Sites
    • Guide to Casino Bonuses
    • Guide to the Newest Online Casinos
    • Guide to Slots Tournaments
    • USA Casino Guide
    • Mobile Gambling Guide
    • Payment Methods
  • Gambling in US
    • Best Payout Casinos
    • Best US Dollar Casino
    • West Virginia
    • Pennsylvania
    • New Jersey
    • Michigan
    • Delaware
    • Nevada
    • Indiana
    • Illinois
    • Colorado
  • Gambling in UK
    • Boku Casinos
    • PayPal Casinos
    • Bingo Sites in UK
    • Legal Casinos in UK
    • Local UK Casinos
    • New Online Casinos
    • UK Casino Bonuses
      • No Deposit Bonus
      • By Best Payouts
      • Free Spins
      • Free Casino Cash
      • High Roller Bonuses
  • EnglishEnglish
    • EnglishEnglish
    • NederlandsNederlands
    • DeutschDeutsch
    • FrançaisFrançais
    • EspañolEspañol
    • ItalianoItaliano

Home » Articles » 5 Funniest Gambling Jokes

Funny dogs playing at the poker table

5 Funniest Gambling Jokes

May 23, 2023August 18, 2022 by John

Casinos are funny places full of odd stories, insane bets and half-baked schemes for hitting it big. Some of those stories, bets and schemes are later told as jokes and anecdotes.

We scoured the web for the craziest casino antics and most hilarious gambling tales. Below are our Top 5 Picks for Funniest Casino Jokes. Enjoy.

Best Casino Jokes #1: Blondes Do Have More Fun

A blonde and her friends go to Vegas for a “girls weekend.” Upon arrival, the blonde heads immediately to the casino lobby's candy machine. She stands in front of it, puts two coins in, and turns the knob, after which, a candy bar falls out.
The blonde picks up the candy bar, puts it in her pocket, then slips two more coins into the slot and turns the knob. Again (of course) a candy bar falls out and, again, she puts it in her pocket.
She slips another two coins in the machine, turns the knob and retrieves her candy bar.
A man standing nearby studies her. Confused, he asks, “I'm sorry, Miss, but I have to ask…What are you doing?”
The blonde turns to him, annoyed and says, “Uh…hello? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm winning.”

Best Casino Jokes #2: Pray for Pay

Question: What's the difference between praying at church and praying at the poker tables?
Answer: At the poker tables, you really mean it.

Best Casino Jokes #3: Breaking Bad Made Easy

Question: How do you get a sweet little old lady to curse?
Answer: Get another sweet little old lady to shout “Bingo!”

Best Casino Jokes #4: No Confidence Vote

A man comes home from work and finds that his wife is packing her bags.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“To Las Vegas!” she says. “There are men there that will pay me $100 to do what I do for you for free!”
Calm, the man scratches his chin for a moment, then begins packing his bags.
“What are you doing?” his wife asks.
“I'm going with you,” he replies. “I want to see how you're going to live on $200 a year!”

Best Casino Jokes #5: You Get What You Pay For

After vacationing on a discount cruise ship, a man tells his friend about his disappointment at the ship's casino.
“They don't even have Keno,” he says. “Instead, a girl just comes to your table and says, ‘I'm thinking of a number between one and ten….”

Honorable Mention: To Tip or Not to Tip…That Is the Question

A blackjack dealer at an upscale casino is discussing the etiquette of tipping and if it is necessary to tip a dealer with a player.
The player says: “The dealer is not responsible when I receive bad cards, just as he's not responsible when I receive good cards. If both my good are bad fortune are the result of pure luck, why should I be obliged to tip the dealer?”
The dealer replies: “Do you tip the waiter when you dine out?”
“Of course,” the player says.
“Thus, according to your answer, I am right, and players should tip,” says the dealer.
The player, confused, asks why.
“A waiter serves you dinner,” the dealer begins, “but he doesn’t make it. The quality, then, is not relevant to whether he is tipped or not. I deal cards in the same way. As you said, your good or bad fortune is not mine to make. Therefore, you should tip me.”
“You have a point,” the player concedes, “but are missing one crucial detail. A waiter gives me what I order. Therefore, I'll take a Queen, please.”

About the Author

John

John has worked in the online gambling industry for over a decade. He has a vast amount of experience working for online casinos and takes a particular interest in the latest releases and innovations from developers. In his spare time he is a keen blackjack player and has been known to enter the occasional poker tournament.

Categories Articles
The Rise of Artificial Intelligence in Online Casinos
The Biggest Slot Machine Wins of All Time

Top 3 Casino Sites

Las Atlantis logo
 5/5
Rated By: 1542

9.9

Our Score
GET BONUS
 5/5
Rated By: 1667

10

Our Score
GET BONUS
planet 7 casino
 5/5
Rated By: 4534

9.8

Our Score
GET BONUS

 

Recent Posts

  • Everything You Need to Know About Online Casino Promotions
  • Biggest Online Progressive Jackpots Ever Won
  • Unlocking Bonus Potential: Effective Methods to Utilize Online Casino Offers for Big Wins
  • Changes to NRG’s Valorant Squad Pivotal Roster
  • Rise of Esports: A Global Phenomenon
© GamblingCity.net 2009 - 2023
  • Editorial Staff
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us
Thank you for voting!
Close
Close
  • Home
  • Casino Reviews
    • Jackpot.com
    • Bizzo Casino
    • Punt Casino
    • Planet 7 Casino
    • Justbit Casino
    • Kryptosino
    • El Royale Casino
    • Red Dog Casino
    • Café Casino
    • Bovada Casino
  • Casino Games
    • Online Roulette
    • Online Blackjack
    • Online Slots
    • Online Video Poker
    • Online Craps
    • Online Baccarat
    • Online Keno
    • Online Pai Gow Poker
    • Live Dealer Games
  • Casino Guides
    • Best Bitcoin Casinos
    • Best Litecoin Casinos
    • Best Ethereum Casinos
    • Best Interac Casinos
    • What is Inclave?
    • Best CS:GO Gambling Sites
    • Guide to Casino Bonuses
    • Guide to the Newest Online Casinos
    • Guide to Slots Tournaments
    • USA Casino Guide
    • Mobile Gambling Guide
    • Payment Methods
  • Gambling in US
    • Best Payout Casinos
    • Best US Dollar Casino
    • West Virginia
    • Pennsylvania
    • New Jersey
    • Michigan
    • Delaware
    • Nevada
    • Indiana
    • Illinois
    • Colorado
  • Gambling in UK
    • Boku Casinos
    • PayPal Casinos
    • Bingo Sites in UK
    • Legal Casinos in UK
    • Local UK Casinos
    • New Online Casinos
    • UK Casino Bonuses
      • No Deposit Bonus
      • By Best Payouts
      • Free Spins
      • Free Casino Cash
      • High Roller Bonuses
  • EnglishEnglish
    • EnglishEnglish
    • NederlandsNederlands
    • DeutschDeutsch
    • FrançaisFrançais
    • EspañolEspañol
    • ItalianoItaliano